Seen and Heard

I took advantage of my love of people-watching the last week and also what I overheard in conversations. This is a list of the top 6 most amusing ones.

6. "He got a Caesar Salad at the airport, and it looked like he put on white lipstick. I had to pretend not to notice."


5. "I think I just heard every bodily function in the past 5 seconds"

4. Naked cowboy, step back! This is the ever aging and not shameless naked cowGIRL.

3. This man not only paints himself silver and talks to himself, he carries around his luggage, pretends to be a statue, and when he talks, is actually not very nice.


Annnd he forgot to paint the back of his neck. Perfection.





2. "This is the only place where a 40 year old can do the walk of shame and it's totally normal."


1. Last but not least... this one is by far my favorite. We went to a festival on Governor's Island and there was an art show. One room was dedicated to this naked barbie and her journey as the last person on Earth. I enjoy how she is just chilling with the monkey here. So casual.

blah blah blah

In reference to the last post, thank you to those who understand and have reached out to me to let me know that. I appreciate it. And just to clarify, I am not like slitting my wrists in a panic about this, I just have reached a point where I need my own time, and it needed clarified.. And since this is Jarblog, I have no rules so I post want I want. (remind anyone of Kenny from South Park "I do what I want" no? just me? ok)


Last Sunday was the VMAs at Radio City Music Hall. Me and my friend decided to go creep on them from the outside and celeb-watch. We got there at 5, but the preshow didn't start until 8. Unlike the rest of the 15 year old, tourist, and foreign fellow creepers, we did NOT want to just stand in the crowds for hours. We got some food then went back out to creep. More people were getting there, but essentially there was no where great to stand. I actually got a great calve work out from standing on my tippy toes periodically for so long. We kept wanting to just leave because we switched spots about 6 times, but each spot equally sucked. Despite our strong desire to just leave, we stayed because it was more embarrassing to say we went to the VMAs and didn't even stay see anyone versus only seeing parts of the people due to people flailing their arms and cameras in the air.


As we were waiting for the preshow to start, a local radio personality came up to us and was asking us questions. Questions like "Why are you here?" which is an embarrassing question when you're not 7 years old just waiting to catch a glimpse of the cast of Glee. (by the way, what the heck is that show? idk, but they were there and the young kids were excited) Also questions like "what do you think of Ellen replacing Paula on Idol" which was obviously a good move. Paula is lame and Ellen is hilarious. He was not too exciting although he was interviewing this little grandma asking her absurd questions which was cute/amusing. She was a sassy little thing. He said something about "did you know pete wentz had nude pictures on the internet?" to which she responded in the typical older lady voice "NO! now why would I need to know that?!"


There was a cool stage set up like someone was going to perform. False. Didn't happen.


If you look closely, there is a guy that semi, sort of reminded me on Geno Malkin.


Yeahhh that pic of Malkin is the one that leaked to the internet of his making out with some girl, but it works.

Finallllly, when the celebs staring getting there around 7, the crowd had gotten huge. Radio City was crowded all the way around.. everyone was obsessed. At this point, I realized I was older than I thought. They were announcing all these people to which 90% of the people, we would look at each other and say "Who is that?!?!" as everyone else was screaming. There was this particularly annoying young girl who was writing everyone's name down as they came out. Fine, whatever. But she was making, what appeared to be, a fake autograph book. Also, she would scream and almost cry at everyone that came out. Let me clear this up, we were not close. Not even kind of close. The guy beside me had binoculars if that helps emphasize how far we were. This girl was loving life though like the "celebs" were shaking her hand. Amusing for a while then just obnoxious. But I'm sure she was 14, soo I don't hold it against her. We did see some cool people though, but I will admit, binoculars were needed. Even though I had a decent enough view on my tippy toes, if it was someone big, everyone's hands went up and everyone else ALSO went on their tippy toes.

The guy behind us was dressed like he was going to the VMAs and also thought he was in them I am sure. He was there alone and when people who would come out who he liked, he would comment on their outfits like they were in a quiet room alone. "Oh my God, Amber Rose, you look amazing. I can't believe your outfit. You look so fierce."

So then we left the VMAs at prob the prime time of real celebs arriving but around 8:15 we were just worn out from being there. It was too crowded at that point and you couldn't see anything anyways. On my way home, I got hit on by the usual- a homeless man. I need to do something about my look that I am attracting homeless people. He greeted me in, also, the usual way. He said "Heyy baby. You wanna liv wif me?" No, thank you, sir, I think there is only room for one in that box. Can't I just be asked for a dollar or something?

As mentioned previously, Mindy's furniture is being sold on craig's list. Despite the "CASH ONLY!!! NO EXCEPTIONS!" disclaimer I put on all of the adds, which usually keeps away most of the scam artists, I still tend to think EVERY person who emails me now is fake. I got an email from a girl named Candy. What a bad name. Anyways, I researched her- and by researched I mean googled- and found out she was a real person and a Broadway actress that appeared in some legit shows, so I was kind to Candy. She came over today and brought her friend Andy- Candy & Andy: how great is that? Andy was smaller guy from the DR. He prefaced every sentence with "I tell the truth." For example, "I tell the truth. Love is hard to find. Sheesh. This city is hard to find love." Loved him. (not real love. love is hard to find, duh.) He mentioned his cousin played for the Yankees, of course I didn't know who he was, but it just goes to show every single person you meet in this city has some type of connection which is awesome to me. During this, Candy was like dancing around the room talking about her life.. interesting girl. I envy her obvious love of life though, I will say.

I went to Dunkin Donuts tonight to get my daily decaf, andI walked in and was greeted by a mental man who stopped in front of me and said "HIIIIII" *giant smile* kinda cute, but very funny coming from the semi-toothless, cheese danish ordering, large glasses wearing person. I only wish I had a picture. It was like crazy hour at the DD. There was group of these semi crazy people.. At first I thought it was like an adult field trip of some sort, but it appeared just to be some local crazies who were friends. As I was waiting for my coffee, one of the guys broke out in song.. it was actually pretty good which was shocking.

When I walked up my little friend said "I missed you! I have not seen you in two days!" He is just the cutest little kid ever. He then asked if I was in college, but I thought he said, "do you want colors" so that took a while to understand. Language barrier to the max here. He said one more year of working and he can go to college. This kid works ALL the time! and I am talking 12 hour days. He is such a hard worker. He still rarely gets my coffee right, but I don't even care. Whenever he handed me my coffee he said "coffee for my sweetie" I told him I was going to go home for a while, maybe a month, maybe a year, and he said "NOOOO! You have to see me all week! I will be so sad when you go.. SO SAD!" He makes my day all the time.

Which leads me to... I am going to Virginia next weekend for my grandparent's 60th (yay!) They are the only reason I believe true love exists. They are the cutest couple IN THE WORLD. You might think you know better people, but you don't. They are great. After Virginia I am going home for a while. This is either going to be a month stay or an indefinite stay. We will see. I might just move here in Novemeber.. why not?

a serious post? this can't be

OK, so I have had a lot of time to think in this past month. I thought this would bring a realization to my life, and it has.. but not in the way I was expecting. I realized I don't know who I am. I have been busy for the past 4 years of my life in college, working, and going out. I don't even know what my interests are. When people say what do you do for fun, I have no answer. When people say what do you want with your life, I have no answer. When people say tell me something about yourself I don't know, I have no answer.I was too busy to realize that I am my own person.. but right now, I don't know who that is. The purpose of this post is that I am over appeasing everyone else. Unless I am close with people, I am not comfortable right now talking to everyone about "what I am doing with my life." Please stop asking. I can't compare myself to other people, or allow others to compare me, and ever expect to be happy with me, whoever that is. I never ever thought I would be the person who didn't know, who didn't have a job right out of college, who had to "find themselves." But the fact of the matter is that is exactly who I am right now. Instead of ignoring this reality, I need to accept it. It may be taking me longer or it might take me 6 jobs or more schools to figure out what other 22 year olds have known for ages or are discovering now, but whatever, that's the reality of it. So please, PLEASE don't ask me about my life right now because I don't know.. and I'm sick of explaining why. I know people are trying to help, and I appreciate that more than people know- I am aware I am not the most expressive person with my feelings- but constantly being reminded that I "don't know" isn't making it OK for me. I will find out who I am and what I want to be.

jarblog is not my #1 priority.. clearly

Ok soo apparently not only do I suck at calling people to keep in touch, but I suck at updating blogs too. I probably can't find time in my really super busy days to do this. Oh wait, I do whatever I want half the day.

Updates:


Last weekend was my cousin's sale. We made cute little signs on pink paper and put them all around. She gave them to friends, I told people I knew, advertised on craig's list, whatever we could do. We set up her living room like a show room with clothes on racks. It was legit. Unfortunately that day happened to be the only rainy day in a while and, well, that's pretty much the only excuse I have, butttt no one showed up for our sale. Well besides two of her neighbors, one of which ended up offering to buy her blinds (we were selling her clothes) and the other neighbor wants the couch. AKA sale failed. It was a torturous 4 hours just hoping someone would come, but no. We ended up donating all of these clothes (keep in mind these brands were like Fendi, Gucci, Prada, etc) to the Salvation Army. Some poor person will be very happy with these clothes and you get a tax right off.. good enough.

Also, I mentioned that I was selling Mindy's stuff on ebay. So this guy sends me some absurd email about how he wants to buy this one cabinet. First of all his name was "mc".. just the letters MC. uhh yeah right. he says how he lives far so he will send me a certified check with the amount plus the shipping blah blah blah. Basically it made no sense. At first I was like maybe he is foreign. The more I looked at it though, we were like this guys is def a scam artist. So I emailed him back (after we had already given him the address here..whoops) and said sorry, but to cancel the check because we would only accept cash. He says "no I already had my secretary send it out, please take it" which I simply apologized and still said no. Then about a week later, Mindy is leaving for work and calls me from her car. She said that she got the mail and there was check from someone named "Ralph Clyde" I checked my emails and made sure.. no ralph clyde ever emailed us, just good ol' mc. So she looks at the check. 18 HUNDRED DOLLARS! hahaha We were asking 500 for the piece he wanted, plus its still on sale on the website for like 800 so why would any normal person pay sooo much more for it? When she brought home the envelope I looked at it, looks legit but still, there is no way. Also the writing of "Ralph Clyde" looks like a 2nd grader. Obviously this guy is a scammer. So, I did what I do best: googled him. Turns out this happened to someone else with the exact same info. Please read this. Its rather amusing. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090819125028AA3frLX Ralph Clyde, Mc, whoever you are, get your act together.

I passed Julia Stiles again on the streets. I love it here because no one gives a shit if you are a celeb or, in her case, quasi-celeb. She can walk on the street like a normal person. The other night I also went to get coffee at Dunkin Donuts (I am there so much I have made the cutest little Indian friend in there and he tells me his schedule so I can coordinate when to come in based on when he works.. adorable) As I am getting the coffee, Mindy was walking Phyllis and she sees Debbie Downer (the woman from SNL.. she has a real name obviously I just don't care to know it.) Now I have seen some celebs here, and I never say anything to them, but DEBBIE DOWNER. hellloooo I use her name on like a daily basis. I need to find her and befriend her. Of course, I missed her though. wah wah wahhhhh

I have been to highline park and central park a few times in the past week. Highline is most appropriately named. Of course it is actually named after the railroad that was once there, but it seems to be no coincidence that high is in the title. I have smelled more weed this week in parks and on the streets than I ever have. People just walk around smoking it and as long as there is no NYPD around, or even if there is really, it apparently doesn't matter.

Yesterday I laid in central park for hours and loved my life. This is the view I had from when I was laying. Add in some Asian tourist doing cliche jumping in air shots, some very hairy men laying out, a few gay couples, some families, some people playing bocce ball and some trust fund babies and you have my full scenery.



I have also explored many new areas this week. I have been to the Grand Central Area, Penn station area, midtown (east and west), chelsea, and the meat packing district. I don't really have a preference to one area over the other but I do like my area a lot. The subway is super close and goes pretty much anywhere. Plus, union square is just insane. I think when I go home, I am going to have a very hard time adjusting. Because right now I KNOW that I love NYC. Kind of like college, I knew I loved it at the time, but as soon as it was over I realized just how much I actually loved it. Plus washpa is just soo polar opposite. Speaking of which, I should be returning at the end of the month/beginning of October. Mindy is still waiting to hear on an apt, but even if she gets it, buying is a different thing here. You must be interviewed and approved by the building's board before they even let you in. This means its gonna be 2-3 months IF she gets this place. Her lease ends at the end of September so we are busy packing all weeks/weekends. The last weekend of September is our grandparents anniversary party in VA so we are going there. My time here is dwindling away fast and I am less than happy about it. I need to make the best of my time left here though and find a way to make it back. Once Mindy gets a new place, she has offered for me to stay with her til I find something. Soo that's potentially my plan for now. Go back to washpa (hell), continue life/job searching and then come back. I have other options too so this may not be definite, as nothing I say ever is.

So amusing yet embarrassing story of the week:
Why do I share this? I am not sure. So yesterday, I was walking to central park (about 45 blocks away) I have made it my mission to walk places when possible because 1. I have the time, 2. I love walking, 3. When in my life will I be able to just walk to places like central park in perfect weather? (answer to 3 is hopefully within a year) Soo I am half way there and I realize, I forgot to put on deodorant. Gross, I know. I stop at Duane Reade and get a travel size and wait til I am on a street with very few people to put it on. Of course, that took forever. I got one arm done then people were coming so I waited for the other. In the meantime, I was semi-lost because I am retarded and just walk when the signs say to and forget where I am going half the time because I am just observing. So I am on this sketch street outside of where I should be and no one is around. As I am applying the deodorant, a man honks his horn. I am the jumpiest person alive so I scream. Awkward. And he yells out his window "hey girl. looking good." why? I am in crap clothes because I am going to sit in a park and I am putting on deodorant. Clearly whoever is screaming "looking good" at me is partially blind, dirty, desperate, or all of the above. Plus like, what reaction was he expecting? You're in a car. I am on the street. No.

Anyways, its labor day weekend so 3 day weekend! Good thing I have off this weekend.. and every day until the end of the month.